I do not intend to sound morbid, or appear negative about death, as we all know that it is the cycle of life. If I was to be negative I would focus on aging, and how getting older is not something that I want, nor is it something that anyone should want. In my opinion, getting older is, all around, for the birds, no matter how much sugar you try to apply to it. The rate of aging and decay is different for everyone, but you can be certain that it is happening nonetheless. It is scientifically proven that you will experience cognitive decline, hormonal changes, loss of skin elasticity, a weaker immune system, less efficient heart function, hearing loss, weaker vision, decreased muscle mass, slower metabolism, and reduced bone density to mention a few. Getting old, is simply, just not fun. Sure there are many things one can focus on like being wiser, not getting up for work and spending retirement the way you want etc., but none of these things outweigh the cons of aging. Everything mentioned above is happening, and all you can do is try to slow its rate, and focus on longevity. I have not even touched upon disease and illness, nor will I, at the risk of this blog becoming increasingly negative and morbid. Before I follow this path down a dark hole of despair, I will stop and remind anyone reading, that above all else, this is a reminder to us all, to live in the moment, be grateful for those around us, and take pleasure in the moment to moment beauty of what is transpiring around you.

It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I began to have a sense of my own mortality. Surprising to some, death had nothing to do with it either. It began with going through a divorce, which, is very much like a death. It was the death of a relationship. It was something that I thought I would never have to deal with. It made me very aware that no matter what control you think you have, what belief or plan you follow, your life can pivot, change or end in a blink. It gave me a great sense of mortality. For some reason I found myself paying more attention to growing older. I began noticing the effects of aging. I no longer looked young, I no longer felt young. I began to notice things that were once easy, required more effort. Even simple workouts, I noticed I was putting in more work, more watts, to achieve the same benchmarks. I noticed recoveries taking longer, wrinkles becoming bolder. I noticed, and realized that I was but a grain of sand in an hour glass that was funnelling closer and closer towards the narrow neck, that was death. What happens when you pass through that neck is a topic for another time.

My sense of mortality has continued to grow through my forties, and soon, my fifties. What really pushed it front and centre in 2024 was when my wife was diagnosed with cancer. You hear that word and it’s like someone hit you with a right hook. You hear it, you feel it, but you don’t really change anything at first. You think, “okay, we’ll get through this, things will be alright. We’ll do what we need to do and then it’ll be behind us.” Time passes and you begin to think about the what-ifs. What if it isn’t going to be alright? What if that person doesn’t make it through this? What if? There is not a whole lot you can do truthfully, but you try to do everything possible that may increase your odds of overcoming, or help you combat the diagnosis. It was here that I was reminded again, that while I was a grain of sand sliding closer towards the neck of an hourglass, I could also at any time be plucked out of that pile of sand and tossed to the bottom. What?! It’s true, we all know that accidents can happen etc., but we still drive down the highway thinking that we’ll be fine and that nothing will happen. Everyday, more than 3700 people die in a car accident around the world, and yet, we think we’re safe when we get into our vehicles each and every day. I think the biggest mistake we make in life is thinking we have time. We spend too much of our time worrying, waiting, saving, and fearing the what-ifs, the maybes, the I should and shouldn’t haves. What if we just focused on being grateful. No matter how awful life seems at any moment, you have something to be grateful for. You are granted 2 billion seconds on this planet, give or take. Therefor congratulations, you are a billionaire! Many however, squander most of their fortunes being bitter about how unfair everything is. They are not wrong, life is unfair. However, you will not be given a refund for those seconds wasted brooding on all the unfairness that you’ve had to deal with in life. They will be gone just as surely as those seconds you spend experiencing joy. Only, they don’t give you something nice to remember them by.

It all sounds a little grim, but it is actually a good thing. While I am haunted by my own mortality, I become more understanding of it. My perspective is changing and I become more and more aware that life has its cycle. As a result, I turn towards things that are more meaningful to me. This is important, because the more I understand death and aging, the more I begin to see the reoccurrence of things people wish they would have done when they were younger. These wishes echo through so many of our wise and elderly people, and resonate deep within me as I continue to navigate through life. I take their advice with me and try to act on it, as I do not want to wake up one day and have to regret their same regrets, or wish I would have done them earlier. And this is what I should write about next…